I had a bad dream last night. I was on the trail, back during my ’09 hike. I was seeing one of the worst nights I faced during my expedition- Day 3. The weather had gotten cold and Andrew and his friend had left me. I was on my own. I had to react quickly. Because of the rain, I had needed to rush making a camp. I couldn’t get a fire started, so I set up my tent and tried to get some rest after a marathon session of hiking. It turned out I had set up camp just a few hundred feet away from a pack of grizzlies.
I knew in my mind I had narrowly escaped death, but still, in my dream, I was running, fearing for my life. Suddenly I was awake; breathing heavily as I slowly became aware of my surroundings. The bed was soaking wet, but it didn't smell like pee.
The doubt crept in like the shadows around me. What am I getting myself into? I realized that as excited as I had been, I needed to keep the realities of the trail in mind. There would be dark days ahead. They would easily outnumber the warm sunny days that get all of those noobs in over their heads. I had encountered people like that during my previous hike, mostly on day two. I laughed as the old women passed me and thought, they won't be making it far.
It was just a dream I kept telling myself. I can't give in again, I've already invested too much of my life into this. My resolve has turned to steel once again.
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