Coming Clean

Today marks an important anniversary to the world: my birthday. I wanted to reflect on everything in my life over the last year, so I told dad that I would need a four day weekend. Like always he told me that this was the final straw. If I didn't come in today I might as well not come in again. Let's see who blinks first. I am looking right at you dad, and I will not be blinking any time soon.

I have to come clean with you guys, my fans. Just like that guy from Oprah's book club, I've been lying to you. I never actually went out on the Appalachian Trail: I was actually blogging from my futon for the past four months. This is probably why you saw me at Braves games, out getting wasted, constantly writing on Facebook, at baby showers, and online for Halo Reach daily at 3 AM. However, I did take 6 months off from work. That part is true. I also helped a lot of you guys along the way with hiking and technology tips. Just today I saw my friend Chase in despair. He is not smart enough to update his Droid, and asked for help. Here is the way to update your phone, Chase: take your droid and throw it in the trash. Then buy the latest iPhone

The inspiration for BATB 2.0 actually came from a conversation I had with a guy at comic con last year. He said if you set your mind to it, you can do just about anything. He cited the fact that even without his adamantium skeleton, Wolverine was able to take down his arch nemesis Sabertooth. He was right. If a made up comic book character could overcome adversity with some clever writing, so could I. This is why I chose to deceive you guys. It was not out of malice but the purest of intentions. I wanted to prove that anything was possible. I'm glad that I proved myself right. While I may not have covered any physical ground on the Trail, my blog speaks for itself. Even though I may have jumped the shark with that whole Seth arch.

Do I miss it? You bet your ass I do. There are often times when I stay up at night, wondering what could have happened if I had finished the trail this time. Sure, not actually finish it, but blog about finishing it. I just didn't anticipate it would take this much out of me. I look back now at all the late night, Dew fueled brainstorming sessions and wonder what if...

But hey, only the weak have thoughts such as these. Today is my birthday, and I'm going to do what I do best. DB is out on the town! Holla!

Death Wish

The flight was delayed thirty minutes, which sucked. Not only that, but one of the stewardesses recognized me. She remembered arguing with me about Mello Yellow versus Dew a few months ago. She tried to tell me that they were basically the same thing. I corrected her in terms simple enough that she might understand: Mello Yellow is the Avis to Dew’s Hertz. This is the reason that Dew fetches a premium price and statistically is consumed by more affluent people.

Once aboard, I logged into my GoGo internet. I bought the annual subscription for $150 because it was the deal of a liftetime. It is either $10 per flight or $150 for the year. The lady next to me paid for a single use. I explained that the annual contract is a much better deal. She said she only flies six times a year, so it would cost more. She doesn’t get it. I have already flown twice in the last four months. I will end up saving hundreds of dollars.

Matt was supposed to pick me up, but he didn’t show. He didn’t answer his phone either. I fear the worst: he is possibly being held hostage by West German terrorists at the company party. After waiting outside Hartsfield for two hours, I rented a car. Pissed doesn’t begin to explain how I feel right now. After having a few hours to think about it, I reaffirm the same notion.

I pushed all four cylinders of my Elantra to the limit. I felt like Paul Walker in Fast and Furious 1,2 and 5 (but not 4) as I tore up 75N. I had to get to Seth while he was still breathing. I got pulled over and the officer said I was doing 81. I tried to explain the situation with a brief synopsis of my blog in terms he could understand. Most cops are not very smart. The dumbest guy from my fraternity ended up being a cop. I calmly told the officer if he did not let me go immediately that there would be blood on his hands. I was cited for a traffic ticket and a misdemeanor for threatening a peace officer. A minor price that I will gladly pay time and time again to save lives. My blog and my work, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives. Regardless, my court date is August 29. Tentatively, I will reach the end of the trail, Cape Cod, on August 22. Hopefully I won’t be too bloated with lobster!

I finally got to Seth’s house at four. The garage door was open, but the car was gone. I could think of only three words: Gray’s Sports Almanac.

My worst fears have been realized. Seth is going to expire on the trail. Even though I already hiked most of it, I have to start over. I will either save his life or give him a proper burial.

I want everyone who thinks they can reach Seth to read the following very carefully so they can understand that this is life or death, not fun and games. May God have mercy on us all.

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 4, 2009

Getting Ready

So my last day of work was today. Funny thing is they didn't call me to tell me it was opening later, so for my last week of work I didn't even work. ha.

Well, I'm in Lilburn, getting everything ready to go. I have everything I need, minus gloves and a hat. I've been practicing packing all my stuff in and out, putting up my tent, and cooking with my stove. I'll probably be hiking Stone Mtn. in the next day or two with all my gear, just as a warmup. Then some friends are throwing a going away party in Athens on Friday. I'll be back Saturday, get all my stuff ready to go and plans finalized, and then Monday morning I'm off to Springer Mtn.!

I'll probably post one more time Sunday night before I leave. After that, depending on cell phone service, I will try to update it everyday. And since I dont have an iphone or blackberry, they may be short and to the point. Once I get to internet in town, I'll try to provide more details as well as pictures.

5 More days...Holla!

Life or Death

I only covered a few miles today. I took it easy because of the holiday and all. I finally had a real dinner: 20 Chicken McNuggets, super size fries and two Big Macs. The only thing I don’t like about McDonald’s is that I have to sneak in a Dew and drink it on the sly because outside food and drink is forbidden.

After dinner, I checked facebook to see what everybody in civilian life was doing. I saw something on the news stream that made my blood run cold. My friend Seth is going to hike the trail.

I knew from the start this blog was a dangerous idea. Inspiring copycat hiking was inevitable. I just never thought it would be him. Seth will be as vulnerable as a newborn child on the trail.

Because Seth is getting on the trail solely due to me and my blog, I am compelled to save him from the harsh truth that the trail dispenses. I am going back so that I can either talk him out of the whole thing or guide him through it. I have come so far I can almost taste the lobster. I want more than anything to finish, but my friend’s life is more important.

It is going to be a long and brutal trip back to Georgia. I have my work cut out for me, what with the two hour layover in Charlotte. I am flying out of Harrisburg tomorrow and only hope I can get to Seth before he makes the biggest mistake of his life. I went on the trail once unprepared only to fail. I had to face ridicule from my peers and those closest to me, but at least I survived. I cannot in good faith let that happen to someone I love.

It is impossible for words to describe what is necessary to those who do not know what horror means. Horror has a face, and you must make a friend of it. Horror and the trail are your friends. If they are not, then they are enemies to be feared. They are truly enemies.

Seth, I am warning you, turn back. You don't know what you are getting into. This trail will finish you. I cannot have your blood on my hands, as I have no more tears left to shed.

No Nuts, No Glory

Today will go down in history as the most impressive block of hiking known to mankind. I woke up this morning at 5:45 to a beautiful sunset. I rolled up my sleeping bag, ate a few power bars, threw on my pack, and headed down the trail. I was angry today my friends, like an old man trying to return soup at the deli. While my detractors went back to their every day lives, I went back to work. I was inspired by the old story of "Tragic Magic". Magic Johnson single handedly lost the 1984 championship for the Lakers. Instead of hanging his head, like most would, he was inspired to head right back into the gym the following week. This was my chance to prove everyone wrong.

I hiked for hours before I even checked my watch. It was 10:30, and I was tired. Tough. I pressed on, ignorant of time and space. I swear I had walked 10,000 steps if I had walked a mile. I started to cramp up. First, just my stomach. Then my legs. Finally even my brain started to cramp. I wasn't about to stop now, even if it cost me my life.

The sun finally started to fade into the distance, and I knew that there would be no shame in calling it a day. But I didn't stop. I pulled out my flashlight and continued on. I tripped over an exposed rock and went tumbling to the ground. I was so tired at this point that I couldn't stand back up. That's when I started to crawl. I crawled for an eternity before sapping every last ounce of strength within my body. I passed out, face down in the dirt. When I woke up this morning, I checked my GPS. I walked 37 miles yesterday! I was finally in Pennsylvania!

They said it couldn't be done, that I had my chance and I blew it. I'm already over halfway to Maine, much to the chagrin of those conspiring against me. It's only a matter of time now before I have the last laugh! I can taste victory on the edge of my tongue, and it is sweet. Back to work!!!

Staying Real

Some of you guys may have it out for me, but I will never change. I am going to continue to live the way I want to live and continue to do the things that I want to do. I will keep going on this trail. You can criticize me, root against me, and do whatever you want.

If I have a setback, some of you can get a few days or a few months or whatever the case may be on being happy about me not accomplishing my goals. Eventually you will have to get back to the real world and your jobs. I will still be on the trail. While you are stressing over a promotion or the inventory or the big merger I will be eating lobster in Maine celebrating a singular accomplishment.

The recent animosity from Jackson and Tim reminded me why I began this trip. In March of 2009, I began a journey to escape this world of hate and vitriol. I wanted the trail to lead to a simpler time. As I hike now, I realize that times may have been different, but they were never simple.

It is with mind in turmoil and body in repose that I post the following:

SATURDAY, JANUARY 31, 2009

About a Month to Go

So I still haven't set an exact start date, but I've narrowed it down to between March 6th to the 14th or 15th. I'm about to start working on my itinerary next week, and hopefully will figure out my start date then. I'm also planning on getting some of my gear next week, start breaking it in and testing it out. The anticipation has been building, and it seems like it can't come soon enough.

Also, if anyone lives near the trail, let me know, and maybe at some point we can meet up.

I also want to thank my parents for supporting me with this. Without their help and support, I wouldn't be able to do this. Thanks as well to my friends who are supportive, too.

Apology

To my avid readers,

I want to apologize to my fans. I don't know why I lost control the other day but I cannot take down my post as it is now part of history, viewable for as long as the internet is up. It has always been my policy to stand by what I write/post. I never delete or modify because I don't want to deceive you guys. I know that I should not treat my fans, except for Tim, the way I did the other day. This has really set me back on the trail, and I have not had the will to hike for days now. I used up all three free nights i had accrued. The body is willing, but the spirit is broken. I am considering ending it all; checking out of the hotel, going back home, quitting my job, and living on unemployment until I get into grad school.

I could really use some motivation right now. Please post positive comments on this entry. I am in a tailspin and could really use something uplifting right now.

I love all of you,

Brent

Crossing the Line

Jackson recently asked me "Exactly where on the trail are you?". At first I shrugged it off as ignorance. Then I started to read it again. And again. The more I read it, the more I realized that I was being mocked. It is obvious if you have been following my blog that I have made plenty of progress along the trail. It is maddening to write brilliant posts and have rubes that don't get them try and bring me down. This blog would have been a huge success if a bunch of jerks hadn't been dead set on taking me out. Rome wasn't built in one day.

My confidence is shaken. I don't know who I am any more.There is an idea of a Brent; some kind of abstraction. But there is no real me: only an entity, something illusory. And though I can hide my cold gaze, and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours and maybe you can even sense our lifestyles are probably comparable... I simply am not there.

Jackson, you may have thought you won, but all you've done is set in motion of chain of events that will leave you mystified and bereft of your senses. You will regret having ever crossed me. You have forced my hand, and I hope that one day God will forgive me.

Monday, January 12, 2009

It's Official

At this point in my life, I'm not so sure where I want to go with it like most people my age. I know it's time for a change, yet I'm not positive what that change is. So, over the past month or two, I've been researching and reading a lot of stuff about the Appalachian Trail. And I have decided I'm going to give it a shot. I'm going to attempt to hike the whole Trail. Yes, it sounds crazy and tough, but I feel I need to do this for myself. Get away from everything and figure out some things. When will I leave? I'm not sure on the exact date, but it will be early to mid-March. I will put updates up occasionally until I start, and hopefully once I do start, it will be either daily or weekly.

I'm really excited to do this, and can't wait for the journey that awaits me.