Yesterday was my toughest day on the trail yet. I ran out of food this weekend and have been living the past 18 hours on berries and mushrooms I found in the forest. I feel as if I am no longer hiking but surviving. I've begun to think thoughts that before would have been shrugged off as nonsense.

While foraging for sustenance last night I happened upon a lone female traveler. Instinctively I began to stalk her like the lion stalking the lamb. Without pause I picked up a large rock and began to edge ever closer. I made sure to cover my arms and face in mud. I learned from the movie Predator that this was the best way to blend in. I had to make sure she could not discover me by heightened infrared readings. As I got within striking distance sanity rushed back into my mind. What was I doing? Was I really about to kill this woman? Had 18 hours without food really turned me into an animal?

The more I thought about my dilemma the murkier it became. She was out here alone and no one would really miss her, would they? I knew that if I didn't eat soon I would die. It was either me or her. I couldn't live on mushrooms and berries forever – they don’t taste very good.

I was going to do it. I skulked in the shadows of the forest. Closer and closer I got, making sure my breaths coincided with hers. As far as she was concerned I was just another shadow in a sea of darkness. Then the unthinkable. I stepped on an errant branch, alerting her to my presence. Startled, she jumped back what seemed 20 feet. I could no longer do it. I broke down and started to cry. I was going to die out here. I then felt another power bar in my pack’s secret pocket.

After eating I felt 100 times better! I realized that I had almost succumbed to Trail Madness. I had read about Trail Madness before leaving but never thought it would happen to me. Apparently it inflicts as many as 22% of all Appalachian Trail Hikers. Trail Madness murders are rare, but known to occur.

In order to avoid madness, and to get the most from the trail, I have resumed following the Braves. I am a lifelong fan, dating back to the 1992 season. Unlike so many fair weather fans, I suffered through the hard times in the 90s.

Talk about suffering, Uggla is 5 of 60 with just one double. He has 1 RBI and his on base percentage is a pathetic .152. He is 11 for 97 in past 28 games. I will bring you guys more interesting statistics in the future because I am a true fan, unlike sports nuts named Tim who masquerade as fans.

I talked with my college friend Kyle a few days ago. He asked me if I was writing the blog or if I had hired a professional author. He is in the FBI and a linguistic forensics expert. He said that the writing on this blog was so superior to my 09 one that the agents at his station didn't believe I was writing it. This is nothing new. People have always underestimated me, and I have always proven them wrong. Nothing will change.

Mail Bag

It is always great to here from my readers! Things are going okay on the trail.

Kristin asked:

Hey Brent, love the blog! I feel like I get you. I was wondering how far you have gotten? Is your ankle better? Are you back on the trail or still in the hotel?

Can I confess something? I tell you this as a hiker, I think you'll understand. Sometimes when I'm hiking... on the trail at night... I see two grizzly bears coming toward me. Fast. I have this sudden impulse to turn my course quickly, head-on into the oncoming beasts. I can anticipate the explosion. The sound of shattering bones. The... steam rising out of the flowing blood.

Anyway, thanks again for the great question!

Fall of a Titan

Most of you had probably heard about Harold Camping's bold prediction last weekend that May 21st would be the end of the world. For one great man it was. The great Macho Man Randy Savage died of a heart attack/ car accident last week in Florida and took a little piece of me with him to heaven.

I remember when I first saw the Macho Man wrestle back in March 1988 in my parent’s basement. I was only 5 years old and already on a steady diet of dew and slim jims which of course helped mold me into the Adonis I am today. His challenger was none other than the almighty Hulk Hogan, a paragon of the 80s second only to Reagan. Like the truest fans of the sport, rare outside of Conyers, I preferred Savage to Hogan. Hogan was all style and no substance. Savage won the match by cheating but of course taught me an important moral lesson that sticks with me to this day. Sometimes you have to do what others are not willing to if you want to make it to the top. That is how I live my life.

With a torrent of emotions, I pushed ahead on the trail with breakneck speed. I covered about a quarter mile in five minutes. I was kicking ass and taking names, but then as I cut a turn like Apolo Ohno, I hit a surface tree root and went flying. My ankle was killing me and I may have stubbed my toe. I stayed down on the ground for a few minutes with the weight of my pack crushing me. I needed to get to the hospital, but could not move.

As I lay down, defeated, I could feel myself losing consciousness. I saw the feature match from Wrestlemania III with incredible detail. Because I had watched the match between Macho Man and Steamboat 30-40 times, and I have a photographic memory, the entire match coursed through my mind. I knew this match better than Tim knows his right hand, reliving each blow and fall to the mat as if I was there myself. Just as the bell rang announcing Macho Man’s win electricity ran through my body and I jolted back to life. I heard Macho Man speak directly to my soul. There is no giving up Brent. If anyone knows that, it should be you. Oh yea!

With superhuman strength I lifted myself up from the ground and hobbled forward. Just like pro athletes, it takes more than steel chairs, ankle locks, and exposed tree roots to finish me. In my toughest hike yet, I covered almost two miles on my bad ankle and finally reached the road.

I have been at the Holiday Inn for the past 72 hours. I am going to take it easy until my ankle recovers as I don't want a repeat of the 2009 fiasco. A few hours of Wrestlemania highlights should give me the strength needed to push on tomorrow, and the fortitude to forget what happened last week.

Revelations

Last night I had another dream. Usually in my dreams I'm a ninja, the President, or a combination of the two - but this was different. The year was 1838 and my name was not Brent. My people called me Dances with Wolves. I was a proud warrior of the Cherokee tribe. I was on a trail, but it wasn't the Appalachian trail. I was on the Trail of Tears.

This was much different than the quest I had embarked on back in March. I had no gps. I had no playstation 3. I drank water from streams instead of dew from cans. There were no highways and trees were everywhere.

They called it the Trail of Tears because it separated the men from the boys, and those who couldn't handle it left crying. Chief Abita had sent me on this mission so that I could marry his daughter Pocahontas. My rival for her love was none other than the Indian warrior Sunken Chest. We were to embark on the trail together, and the first to return was to be married to Pocahontas.

The trail itself was much different than the Appalachian trail. For starters there was very little in the area of elevation change. It was more or less a nice, leisurely pace over plains and grassy knolls. After several days Sunken Chest began to drag behind me. After a few weeks I was sure that I had won because he was nowhere to be seen. When I returned to the village in August I came upon the shock of a lifetime. Instead of being greeted with lobster tails and ale, I was greeted by the wedding of Pocahontas and Sunken Chest!

This morning I really started to think about the dream and what it meant. My subconscious was trying to tell me something. I realized that Sunken Chest was actually my "friend" Tim. This wasn't the first time he had screwed me out of getting the girl. Also this wasn't the first time he had cheated to win. In a poker game back in 2007 I had a QKA23 straight but Tim swindled me out of the pot. This dream just reminded me that he can't be trusted and that he owes me $200.

Bent, Not Broken!

Some of you guys may have noticed that blogspot was down for most of the day. Yesterday’s update got erased, but everything is fixed now. Based on my correspondence with the president of blogspot, it looks like it was a deliberate attack on my blog. First Sony, now this. I know there are plenty of haters out there, but I never thought they would go as far as launching a cyber attack against me. Some people just can't stand success.

If you hackers think you can take me down, you are wrong. I am going all the way. I challenge the responsible party to man up and admit to the attack. I dare you to reply to this message with your name, address, daytime phone number, and social security number.

Lone Wolf

I have been hiking hard for the last week. Since I checked out from the Holiday Inn I have covered almost 35 miles of North Carolina trail. I called one of my best friend’s, Tyler, and told him that I would be coming by in a few weeks. He lives in Raleigh, which is basically on the trail. He said he does not think he can rendezvous. I have no need for his fancy cop talk. I am a lone wolf.

I feel more alone than ever before. For the last few weeks my number of followers has been stagnant. I feel like you guys don’t believe in me anymore even though I have covered almost sixteen times as much of the trail as I did in 2009.

I tried calling my best friend Scott, but he didn’t answer. He is probably Spring Breaking it hard like usual. When I finish the trail it will put me in the same league as him. In just a few months we will tear up a coastal town in Maine, but this time, as equals.

I called in to work to see whether my check would get deposited tomorrow or on Monday. I asked for dad, but all I got was voicemail. That is how I feel right now. I am leaving a message to the world, but I don’t know if anyone is listening.

Too Close for Comfort

Yesterday I announced the winners for the Art of Video games Smithsonian exhibit to the few of you out there who did not already know about it. I planned on using my iPhone 4 today to check out the stream at 1:00 PM. My entire day was completely planned out. Wake up at 10:30, hike a couple of miles towards civilization and enjoy what was sure to be an amazing tribute to the greatest art medium of all time. Unfortunately I was emphatically reminded today that even the best laid plans of mice and men often go astray.

I had gotten close enough to US19E to start getting some pretty good reception. I logged onto the stream an hour early to make sure that my connection was solid and test my system. That's when all hell broke loose.

I got a prompt from WebEx stating that I needed to update to the newest version to watch the stream. I quickly used the App Store and started to download version 1.5. It didn't take. I needed a wireless connection. My blood ran cold.

They say that the worst thing people can do in a life or death situation is panic. I steeled my nerves and took a step back to look at my situation. If the sky was not clear today I would have sworn I was struck with a bolt of lightning when hit by my first idea. I pulled up my Holiday Inn rewards app and found a location 3 miles away. Taking into account the wind, elevation changes, soil type, and my surge of adrenaline, I calculated that I could make it to the Holiday Inn within 75 minutes. I chugged a dew for for that extra edge and took off.

By the time I got to the hotel I only had 7 minutes to spare. Luckily with my Holiday Inn Rewards App I was able to check in on the go. I grabbed my room keys from the front desk and demanded to know where the business center was. I looked down at my watch. 5 minutes to go As I turned the corner like Jimmy Johnson at the Daytona 500 I was blindsided by another unaccounted factor. Someone was using the business center computer, and there was only one.

I was lucky. It was a woman. Judging from her looks and demeanor, I figured she was in her mid 30s, probably married, and most likely a loner. I knew that if I just threw on the charm that this issue would take care of itself. Within seconds we were chatting. She was saying something about needing the computer for a sales call later that afternoon across town. I took it up a level and started to tell her about this blog. She must have been impressed because within a minute she was hastily packing up her bag and on her way. Its a shame for her that I didn't have more time because I could tell she wanted me.

I logged in and started streaming with only 30 seconds to spare! Overall the webcast was an amazing event and I felt honored to witness history in the making. I also must admit that the presentation of the SNES awards was very well put together. I was really blown away by the presentation of SimCity and have been rethinking yesterday's critique on it. The game’s creator Hirosuki Fukiyama discussed the process of converting the game to from pc to console and made some pretty good points on the technological breakthroughs. I've decided if you never change your mind, why have one?

I decided since I had already spent $89.99 on a room I may as well use it. It was so great to drink an ice cold coke. I watched about five hours of tv before figuring out what to do for dinner.